Saturday, May 8, 2010

Coming out of the dark

Being a victim of domestic violence is a horrible, life changing experience. When the abuser is a cop, the situation may be even more terrifying. They use their badges to threaten, manipulate and control others.

So many times, I was told, "no one will ever believe you"; "I could kill you and no one will ever know what happened to you"; "Nothing will ever happen to me, they will believe me over you"; "If you ever tell, I will hurt your children"; "If you report me, I will see to it that you lose your job and I will tell them you hit me first and I was defending myself".

What happened to me changed my life forever. What is happening to others experiencing similar horrors will change their lives forever. You can't go back and erase the past. However, you can move forward and realize that there can be life after abuse.

My abuser is now a twice convicted felon. It took a long time and yes, he got off easy. But, he will never work in law enforcement again. He will never be able to legally carry a weapon. His past will follow him all the remaining days of his life...he can't escape it- just as I can't erase what he did to me. It is with me for life.

If you are being abused by someone who wears a badge, get help immediately. Go outside of your local jurisdiction for help. Go to a law enforcement agency higher than the one that employs your abuser. Document everything and do not keep the documents in a place your abuser can find them. Your life is important. People will listen. You just have to insist they listen. If you are a victim, reply to this post and I will listen...and put you in touch with others who will also listen.

There CAN be life after abuse. When you come out of the dark, the sun will be so much brighter than any sunshine you've seen in your life. I lived for years afraid to leave my house. Now I open my front door look at the sky, thank God and smile.........LIFE IS GOOD!